What is it about life that makes a person feel so fragile? There are so many things that can cause stress, pain, and anguish for a person. Things that people shouldn’t have to worry about hurting them. Things like friends, a burning love, family, and who we are on the inside. These things are the closest things to the heart, and it’s crazy how one slip, one misjudgement, one word even, can change everything.
Friends are there to support others. To guide and to talk to. To hug and to be hugged by. But on the flip side, friends can become hated, despised, and ignored. Why? Well, friends have the ability to know precisely every part of who you are. They know your likes and dislikes, your ups and downs, your powers and your vulnerabilities. In some crazy way, they can control you. What’s even crazier, is that we need these people we call friends. We need to feel that support, and need that attention. We need to be a part of something, a part of each other. But when a friendship is broken, a part of ourselves becomes fragmented; that person, now gone, took a part of you. Took all that was known, all that was hidden, and left you not knowing where it will end up. Friendship holds a lot of power over someone, and it’s crazy to finally come to realize it.
Then there’s that burning love that you have for a special someone. That feeling deep down that engulfs your heart and soul. The love that a person can give to that one special someone is endless, as is the love one can receive in return. The love can make a person go absolutely crazy, too. It makes us think of all the little things to do for our love, and makes us try just a little harder to make the day better for that special person. And that person knows us from the tip of our toes to the depths of our hearts, and this is what makes love a shaky bridge. We never know exactly what will happen on that bridge. It is completely 100% unpredictable; maybe that’s why we need it so much. Maybe we yearn for that spontanuity and strive for a new feeling of passion for another person. This feeling, it goes beyond friendship, beyond just knowing a person. Love makes a person vulnerable not only because it is unpredictable, but because it completely exposes a person to another. It hits harder than a friendship if things take a wrong turn. A love turned sour wrenches at the heart, and makes a person question everything about themselves. That exposure, that once felt like bliss, turns to a vile pain that strikes the entirety of a person. Sometimes we go from vulnerable to almost transparent.The heart is an extremely vulnerable thing, and we put it in the hands of another in hopes that it will never be broken. It’s a scary thing to think about really; what one person can do to the heart of another. We make or break the one we claim to love. We can cradle a heart, or choose to shatter it. Love is such a beautiful monster.
Longer than friendship, and deeper than a burning love, we have people that know us better than any other: our families. A family is what we turn to when all else in life has failed. It is our security, our comfort, our place to go for anything. We strive to make our parents proud, look up to those big sibs, and try to be the best influence for the little sibs. No matter how much we may mess up at times, or how hard we may fall off our paths, family is something that we all look to for that never ending support. The tie of a family is incredibly strong, and no one ever expects it to whither or break. But what happens if that bond is stripped from you? What happens when the deepest, most incredible support falls out of sight? It is rare for this to happen I know, but when it does, it is possibly the worst pain any one person can experience. After all, If one can’t count on family, who else is there? The break in a familial bond can make every aspect of a person splinter, from trust to being able to fully love another. The trust that is given to others now becomes constant questioning and disbelief. This happens because the deepest trust one can ever have is with the family, and if that’s gone, it’s hard to believe anyone else is trustworthy. A person is shaped by the family; every aspect involves a value or trait that came from the family. Without that source of family, life can be hard to cope with. It makes me wonder, does the tearing of that bond deminish the value of a person, or does it give that person more worth?
Finally, there is the one person that impacts life the most: the self. Life throws just about every obsticle possible at us through friends, loves, and family. Each one of these has the potential to splinter a part of us and can cause great pain, but the biggest obsticle in life we face is ourselves. The self is an incredible thing; it’s unique for each person, and makes us who we are. It is who we are inside and also who we are to other people. The self can be creative, independent, strong, intelligent, kind, and brave. It can also be destructive. There are 3 parts to who we are: the ideal self, the real self, and the undesired self. Together, these can work to make us great, but can also be a force that we can’t push through. The undesired self leaves us thinking of what we don’t want to become. Negative images of the self push us to be better, but also causes a constant strain on who we are. We think, “I don’t wanna be like that, because it’s ugly, or unwanted.” On the opposite side, we have the ideal self: the person we want to strive to be. It seems good to strive to be the best, but is there ever a limit?? We may set that limit too high, and it can cause problems. Problems like constant worry of what we look like, who likes us, and what we can do to be more liked, or to feel more included. Crammed and smothered in the middle of the ideal and undesired self lies something insanely beautiful and perfect: the Real Self. It is who we are now, no cover ups, no fake impressions, and no walls built up to block others out. It is raw, sincere, and completely reflective of who we are. This is what I think of most… the Real Self, and how perfect it really is. We may catch a glimpse of it here and there, but rarely do we see it completely in another. I know what it is to hide the real self, and to shield it at all costs. There is a part of us all that is hidden, and not shown to others; it is our own beautiful secret. I wonder though, will others ever uncover that true beauty?